INTROSPECTION
05/29/2007
It seems like I have been in this place several times in my life. I feel lost. Not spiritually (necessarily), but there is no solid sense of direction in my life.
I don’t know if I wrote about the dilemma with school…? The short of it is that the Seminary I was attending has closed. So here I sit…with half a degree and not many options to finish up anytime soon. And now with a wife, 2 jobs, a baby, a mortgage, and TONS of bills – I don’t see any way I will be able to finish. But I guess you got to roll with the punches, right?
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and there are a few ideas percolating. I just want some sense of stability in my life. I want to feel like I can provide for my family. And right now, I don’t feel that way. That really takes the wind out of me.
I don’t want to sound like a whiner. Because that is not what I am doing. I am just asking for help. I need God’s help. I don’t want to travel down another path for a year or so, and then feel this same way again.
Sometime I wonder if it is my fault that things don’t work out, or if that is the way God planned it? I sometimes wonder if the many turns in my life are a result of His sovereignty or my indecision? Good questions to ask I guess.
Maybe this is a post that should have gone in my private journal…
May 29th, 2007 at 4:25 PM
I love you Vin; and I felt sad when I read your bolg this morning…It just did not sound like the upbeat, happy son-in-law of mine, almost like something or someone hurt your feelings, or put a dent in your self worth. You are very blessed with talent running out your ears, healthy, handsome; a beautiful wife and daughter……God came to your rescue when you needed a job, and it does take time to catch up from a down fall.
Please look at each day given to you as a gift, and make the most of it that you can, and when you fall asleep at night thank the Lord and be ready for the next giftful day….taking life day to day, step by step and know that Christ is with you and is always there.
Yesterday, Memorial Day was sad for me because Doug has the T.V. on 24/7 and all day it was focused on young men fighting in Irac and crying Mother’s reading letters they had written to their dead sons.,,,,I cried too thinking about how horrified I would be if it were you, Quinn or Ryder!
Your alive and safe and truly blessed;
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Mommy Kathy
May 29th, 2007 at 5:42 PM
Hi Vinny, it is Mommy Kathy again; maybe you can laugh at me spelling blog wrong in my last comment!
I processed my thoughts a little more after reading your post a second time….You are feeling the weight of all the responsibility on your shoulders and the frustration with the school closing after all the studying and time and money spent.
I am praying that God will fill your heart with joy, and peace; giving you direction with goals you have inside.
Right now your best investment is your house. In two years time [which will go by faster than it seems now] you will make a significant amount of money if you sell it.
Stick with your plan to take the money and finish school….Colorado was one option.
In the mean time you need to take good care of yourself and persue things that you love and enjoy….Please do not let stress take over as it kills and robs you of happiness; believe me, I know!!!!
Again, I will be praying for you; please let me know if there is anything I can do to make you feel better.
We can go out for coffee as I am a good listener if you want to talk; or I will come over and pray with you and help with some household chores?
Know I am here for you.
I love you Vinny.
Mom K.
June 7th, 2007 at 3:53 PM
Good morning my friend…it has been so long since we’ve talked. I know that this isn’t your most recent blog but it is the one that demanded my response. I felt it was important that you know that an old friend was thinking of you and wishing you well. We are both parents now – I love being Jack’s mom so much. Your baby girl is beautiful and I can’t wait to meet her one day. Can you email me so that I can send you some pics of Jack? I don’t think I have your current email address – but mine is the same. Be blessed.
bye from Chelsea